Saturday, December 31, 2011

come what may, and love it

Come what may, and love it

How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment

The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

Monday, December 26, 2011

I'm so close..

I guess i'll start by stating something that Hyrum Smith taught me. There are Four things a person absolutely needs, PERIOD

  1. To live
  2. To love & be loved
  3. To feel important
  4. Variety
These four needs are the things that govern every choice in our life. Wether we recognize it or not. In order to obtain these needs, at times we are willing to do anything. If you think about it, to live, its easy no one wants to die. When people are faced with death they start doing crazy things in order to get out, in order TO LIVE. To love & be loved.. Where do I even begin with this one.. ahh we'll skip it and I'll come back to it. To feel important, we start sports, we make friends, we begin hobbies, we try to impress others, and at times the need to feel important becomes so great that we begin to start doing the dumbest things, we begin to go out of our boundaries and do crazy things in order to get attention from anything from anyone. Then last but not least Variety. The reason we wear different clothes, the reason we listen to different music, the reason we go on vacation. 
Now at times its not that we need to meet our needs but that we meet our needs in a wrong way and its because of one thing.. SELF WORTH.
SELF WORTH... What are you worth to yourself? Just think about it for a bit. You may be thinking how does self worth tie in with meeting our needs and i thought about that for awhile and it took me awhile to figure it out, it took me a few late night talks with a few friends to finally  realize that if our self worth is great we are willing to do anything to correctly meet our needs. First example once again to live. If you're self worth is high and you walk into a room with a hungry tiger obviously you are going to turn around , run and want the need to live. But if you're self worth is low, you could care less if you were to die, you could careless that you are about to be mauled by a tiger. To feel important and variety i think that these both tie in together.. If think that at times we go down the wrong paths in order to have variety or to feel important in life, we begin to make the wrong friends because it's the easier thing to do. Our self worth is so low that at times we don't care wether we destroy everything and everyone around us as long as we can feel important, as long as we can feel that variety even if it maybe for one small second. Wether it means hurting someone or getting that next high. Then to love and be loved... If we don't have that self worth, we are willing to go to anyone for that love. Even if it means the rudest most mean person we know. That person made us feel loved at one time and we just want that feeling once again. There's just one thing i can say about self worth and that is 
"If your self worth is dependent on anything other than your relationship with Christyou are in big trouble." -Hyrum Smith

I still can't wrap my head around this... at times I can depend on Christ to meet my needs but I have to admit. Most of the time I let the world tell me who I am. I let it to get in my head and i forget who I am. I forget that I am a Son of God. The man who gave me everything. I let the world tell me that I'm not good enough. That I'm not important. That there is only one way that I can get the variety I need. That there is only one way that I can be loved.. That just because that one person doesn't love me, no one does. That there's no need for me in this world. My self worth is shot down the drain and what do I do. Sit there. Think about what I did wrong. And it was not letting the lord letting me know what I'm worth to him but letting looking at myself the world does. 

 To love & be loved....
 I like to believe that, this need is the one need that as human beings we struggle the most with. For a long a long time in my life. I felt that the only way I would meet this need is by ignoring it. By not caring others. not feeling love or any emotion whatsoever. oh it was so easy to do. It was the easy way out, but then I finally realized. IS THAT WHAT I'M WORTH? The easy way out? All i'm gonna be worth the least possible. Am I gonna give myself literally the very least I can give myself? I finally got up and told my self no, I can do better for myself. I know what I deserve and I'm gonna get it. For awhile I thought I had it. I'll admit it, I felt loved, I felt important but it wasn't because of Christ.. It was because of a girl. And when she was gone, what happened? Well, that love left.. and I'll be honest these last few days, I haven't really felt loved.. but I think I solved the problem. Ha Today, driving home I can't remember from where but I remember seeing a kid I knew of, but never really talked to him. I knew that if we saw each other we would say hi and what's up but not much more than that. I thought in my head pops in my head. "pick him up" and what do I do? Drive on by..... for a second it killed me... I just stared at the road, started making excuses for not to pick him up. He wouldn't pick me up, ahh I'm in a rush, don't really have the time and he probably lives in narnia. But finally, i told my self lets be real if I was him I would love a ride, it's so cold outside. So I flip a U-turn and pick him up. Not much was said in the ride but we both know it was what we both needed. It started so many thoughts and ideas in my head. Later on that day, a friend called me for the smalles favor and all I said was "uhh I can't, I'm already to far away....." he sighs over the phone and sits in silence.. I was going to hang up but then in my head a thought comes "WWJD, and what would a homie do" haha With the right thing to do. I told him, "Don't worry, I'll go get it" and yet he had instant relief and I could tell that he was so happy, it was the one thing that he needed and I was there to help. After that whole little incident, I began to think of the good samaritan, not saying that I'm anything like him but that maybe since I'm not feeling "loved". That maybe I need to love more, and not "that one girl" or "that one homie" but everyone, specially those in need. The moment that I begin to love those around me, that I begin to be the best I can not for myself but for others I believe that all of my needs will be met. I believe that, that's how Christ did it. That even though everything he went through he found his love in loving others. I know it's not gonna be easy at all. but the harder it is the greater the reward. I want my self worth to be so great that I want the best for myself but the only way that I can be the best for myself is in being the best I can be for others as well. That I can take advantage of those opportunities to help all those around me and not let it pass by. That I can take the challenge. That no matter how hard I fall, I can get up ten times stronger. That I'm gonna be the best kid anybody ever knew. It's about how much I can take but still be the best, to keep moving forward. Who's got the right to stop me? No one. If you know what you're worth then get what you're worth.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

To the homie..

This post goes out to one of the biggest influences of my life... one of the biggest homies i've had.

Jared Harvey

Four words i have to say to you.. I MISS YOU MAN.
I dunno, i couldn't sleep, just had a lot on my mind. got in my car and just started driving around like we used to. Trying to think of what you would say to me, talking to myself, pretending you were right there. I ended up parking in front of your house.
Memories rushed me like none other. your cabin, powell, getting pulled over, our late night talks, tubing, cruising around on our bikes, endless and endless memories. The things you would say to me. I hope you know you've influenced my life so greatly. I could use you're wisdom and clever sayings more than ever right now. I could really use a late night talk. I told myself this wouldn't happen I wouldn't miss you, but i do man. I hope everything is going great in Argentina. I want to thank you for all the things you taught me, how to get past the hard times and just live life like it should be lived. Thanks for teaching me to take the time, step back and just breathe. Thanks for being the great example for me and for always being there. I can't wait to join you and spread the gospel to the four corners of the earth. I can't even express my gratitude for you man, I love you.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

"We must be the change we want to see in the world." -Ghandi

Please watch this first..

This video left me speechless for a bit, and I gotta admit, I did cry a little. I don't even know where to start. ummm this video shows so much of what I've been feeling lately, what I've been trying to tell some people in my life. This man, given one dollar, 
yet with one dollar look at the change he made. It makes me think, with all that I'm given, with all that I have. Why do I take it for granted? Because I know I do, and I do it subconsciously, when things don't go my way, or how I want them to I start to tell my self that I deserve better, that this shouldn't be happening to me. All I have to say is that we need to stop being selfish. I don't mean go and start donating all we have and doing hours and hours of service. This man all he had was merely a dollar and yet he change the lives of many. What about us, with the opportunities we have to impact one another everyday. With going to school, work and being with friends and family, are we going to choose to make sure things go our way and that we are happy? Or are we going to choose to help those around us, to see those who are having a hard time and cheer them up, to build each other up. The opportunity to help others is a gift of grace. With it being the Christmas season, I want us to start giving a gift... a real gift that won't  be over used, or grow out of size, or loose its worth, but a gift that's unforgotten. That's the gift of charity..the gift of unmeasurable love and kindness. Guys they don't say "tis' the season to be jolly" for nothing. Make the change now to start caring for those around you, to stop always thinking about yourself but about how you can help those around you. I can say one thing that I know for sure, this won't be easiest thing we do. but it's possible and I know that if we do these things and begin to love one another that we will be a happier more peaceful people. As Jacob Schemmel taught me "ELE" Everybody Love Everybody. Don't let this Christmas season be the only time that you care for others, but let it be the start of a new chapter, a new beginning. Let this be the time when you embark a new life. The start of something new, the start of a better, happier life.