A tender love and mercy..

January 15th 2010... A day that changed my life. A few days after picking up my brother from his mission. I remember sitting in the hotel room with him reading the Book of Mormon. When he challenged me to read The Book of Mormon once a month and he promised that if I did i would be blessed greatly. He promised me that my character would change that I would be blessed in things that I wouldn't be able to see until later.

Well this week was finally the week that I noticed that. I'm kinda mad that it took me so long.. I feel that thanks to the lack of sleep all week, with emotions, work and family keeping me busy, I finally managed to ponder it through. That blessing was understanding the love of christ.. the love christ had for people that he never knew. In the last few days, I've met new people, in the last few months I've met many, but yet I feel as like I've known them for years, like we've been through so much. I don't really know how to explain it but I can tell you one thing that its a beautiful feeling. To be able to understand someone so well, before even getting to know them. At times I forget and act like I really have known them forever but then I remember that they dont' feel the same way you do. Which sucks most of the time haha. I dunno how to explain it but I think I truly found happiness... Just caring for other, caring for every person you meet. Being able to feel a love for them no matter what their past has been. To be able to understand people at such an intense level is really a wonderful gift.

Luckily enough this week went by as an eye opener and helped me see things the way I needed to. To be able to look through the lords eyes for once and understand what he has in store for me. Even though at times its not what I want, its what I need.

Savior, may I learn to love thee,
Walk the path that thou hast shown,
Pause to help and lift another,
Finding strength beyond my own.
Savior, may I learn to love thee-
Lord, I would follow thee.

Who am I to judge another
When I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden
Sorrow that the eye can't see.
Who am I to judge another?
Lord, I would follow thee.

I couldn't have said it better myself..

I Love not sleeping..

Sleep.. what a waste of time....


SOMETIMES i like not being able to sleep, i know weird huh. but it feels nice to ponder and have the time to do it. to be able to look at my life and try to correct things in life to make changes. Time to listen to some happy music and sit back and close my eyes. Just sit and let my thoughts wander and re arrange in my head. Just feel that peace and calamity that I strive for everyday.

Life's tough.. but you know I CAN DO HARD THINGS. A motto that's stuck through out my life as a kid. Thanks, Bro Tanner for that. I'll never forget it

Another thing I strongly believe in is, NOTHING is achieve without sacrificed. Whether good or bad, big or small. Without sacrifice of time, money, feelings, whatever it may be. You sacrifice something in order to receive something in return. Sometimes the return may be big or small. Whether you want to sacrifice you're time and talents to help those in need, or for memories. The choice is up to you.

I believe that, thats a main part of the recipe to happiness... Willing to sacrifice for the better.. willing to let go of things that don't belong in your life no matter how much you want them. Willing to change. Willing to have faith, that there are things waiting in store for you, if you're willing to make the sacrifice.

Motivation, one of the biggest things people are missing when they try to change. Many feel like they have no control over themselves. “This is who I am.” “I cannot change.” “I was born this way.” The world makes claims like this all the time. “I can’t control my desires.” 


Colossians 3:1-2 says,

“If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”

I cannot say this any more clearly, you can deny it all you want but it's true. We are ALL children of our Heavenly Father, thats WHO WE ARE, who we are destined to be. We need to learn and understand this but yet its not easy. Its a "hard thing" and you know what I CAN do hard things. I know that if I humble myself and understand that the lord has a better plan for me. That these changes can be done, that this change of heart is possible. Its all wether i'm willing to put in the sacrifice whatever it may be.

This reminds me of the General Conference talk Elder Dale G. Renlund  about preserving the hearts mighty change. In it he states, "Enduring to the end can be challenging because the tendency of the natural man is to reject the spiritually changed heart and allow it to harden Once we begin to make the sacrifices our motivation can only last so long and at times we give up and and begin to dig the whole we once sat in, trapped and alone. Just because it's the easiest way out. But yet we all know that the easiest way isn't the best, so why do we still try the easy way? make shortcuts in life? I believe we need to learn to want to sacrifice, to have the patience for things to get better in our life,  for the mysteries of God to unfold. All in order for us to have true happiness. To be able to live in a blissful state